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April 30th, 2013:

Mark Sanford’s Congressional Affair

Things are going well for would-be-ex-former-Congressman Mark Sanford. Despite his campaign having one of the most predictable collapses in the history of American politics, the former governor still trudges on. Fresh off his debate with Nancy Pelosi (whose responses were as enlightened as ever), Sanford finally managed to debate his actual opponent last night. In between discussions of Sanford’s decision to abandon his gubernatorial duties to run off to another country with his mistress, his subsequent divorce, and his more recent trespassing charge (filed by the same ex-wife who was dropped in favor of “foreign relations”), the candidates managed to discuss issues of real importance. Such things as whether Mr. Sanford flip-flopped on his support for a harbor dredging project in Charleston 20 years ago and what Ms. Colbert-Busch hoped to accomplish by writing a check for Sanford’s gubernatorial campaign are of prime importance to the voters and really serve to demonstrate how the two candidates would represent the district on such matters as immigration reform, taxes,  and ObamaCare.

But never fear! Sanford nearly has the election clinched. Only half of the district’s voters hate him and, he’s only down by nine points, in a district that gave former Rep. Tim Scott 62.4% of the vote. Luckily, Sanford has the situation completely under control. He’s even managed to drum up some support from local businesses that have started buying billboards for him, like this one:


Have an affair, and you, too, can be a congressman.

Have an affair, and you, too, can be a congressman.

With such impressive polling numbers and unmatched local support, the local GOP establishment has really picked a winner this time. It’s clear now what the GOP’s path forward should be. The base should just sit down, shut up, and let the party elites pick the winning candidates.